Saying hi

Kids say hi.   On my walk, they try to imitate me and my wacky stride, but they always say hi.   Even the awkward pre-teens.   There is this one little dude that seems like he has an ongoing conversation in his brain when he is walking (mmm…kind of familiar) but always asks me how I am when I walk by.   One day his pant leg was stuck in his bike chain and he didn’t want help.  He wanted to figure it out for himself.   So I kind of hung out for a bit and he reminded me and said, “Really, I got this.”   Cool.  He is not there still, so apparently he did indeed have it.

Most of the jr. high kids are kind of shy, but eventually they huff out a, “Hey”.   I do not see too many high school kids walking to and from school these days.   They either get a ride from their friends, parents or drive themselves.   Every so often I will walk by this awesome African American high school dude.  Very tall, thin, glasses and always has his headphones on.  He. Is. Always. Singing.     Always.   He has a great voice.  I cross the street to walk near, just to hear him.   He never says hi, but I give him a pass, because he is creating & lost in his musical wonderment.   I want to stop him one day and ask what he wants to do with this beautiful gift.  And then I think,  maybe he is doing what he wants to do with his gift.  Maybe singing himself home is enough.

On my walk I sometimes pass people within inches on the sidewalk.   You kind of have to acknowledge one another.  It’s an unwritten suburban Texas rule.  (although when I was in California in the fall, I took a couple of 6am walks on the beach and everyone said hi.  They were so happy to be 1. Alive 2. On the dang beach 3. Retired.)   So I say hi to everyone.   Granted there are maybe only 5 or 6 folks that I walk by on my 3-4 miler, so not too many.   There is this one dude though… that n e v e r says hi.   He kind of 1/2 smiles and walks right by.  It totally bugs me, because I do say hi…every time…and he doesn’t say hi back.  He is not wearing headphones and he is not hard of hearing.  He just isn’t a “Hi” guy.   I do not know if this particular dude is creating in his head or just ignoring me.  I think he hates that I am so walk-y and talk-y.   Maybe he really wants to be walking on the beach in So Cal, but 1.  He is not retired enough and 2. well that’s all I can come up with.    I know in the book,  The Four Agreements,  the number two agreement is “Do not Take Things Personally”.   I am usually pretty good about that, but I kind of take quiet-dude personally.  Tomorrow I will not say hi.  I will just stare at him.  Like I’ll just stop and stare.   See what happens there.

But then after I make that grand statement, I  come across this beautiful passage from one of my favorite books, The Gift..  (poems by Hafiz, the great Sufi Master), that I read a couple of times a week.  I love this book.

Where is the door to God?

In the sound of a barking dog,

In the ring of a hammer,

In a drop of rain,

In the face of

Everyone

I see.

 

Well dang-it.  I just want the no-hi-guy to acknowledge me one time.   Now I have to honor the fact that he is my brother in spirit and brother doesn’t have to say hi if he does not want to.   I will stare at him with love instead of power.  I will bless him as he walks on by.  I will still say hi, even though he will not say hi back.  Maybe in his blog he talks about this lady saying hi to him and how he isn’t going to budge.  This power struggle in the suburbs is out of hand.  I think we need counseling.

 

My whole point of the story….that I was planning on talking about…that I totally got off track with n.h.g.  is this:  You never know what a simple act can do.   Acknowledge others.  Smile.  Be kind when the kid in the fast food window is shy and awkward.  Be light.  Buy the impatient car behind you a cup of coffee.  Look people in the eye.   Put away your phone when you are in a waiting room, in line, on a bus, at a restaurant.   Listen more than talk.  Give the guy a buck that you know is going to go off and buy a beer on the street corner.  We all have our stories.  Today is good. Today may we create peace instead of dissonance.  The door to God might be you.

 

May 24   6:42 PM  fixin’ to walk

I will say hi.  Again.

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Late Work

I made a deal that I would write once a week.   So, since I was late with my “Walk” blog, here is another shorty for you.

I hope I get full credit for turning in my work late.  Funny how schools do that now.  You can turn in your work that was due on Monday only up to a week late for 80% credit.  When I was in school, I think you either turned it in on time or you were s.o.l.   Could we turn things in late and get any credit?   Pretty long ago.  Might be making up miles and snowfall.

Today is Mother’s Day.  I want to express my gratitude to the Big Beautiful Universe for the opportunity to be a mom.  It truly is the best job, career, calling, occupation, Divine appointment, blessing and gift to be Luke’s mom.   I call him my favorite son.   He calls himself our one and only.  Ichiro.  Number One Son.  There is no mystery that I LOVE this child & love being his mom.  Love x infinity.

My mom is cute.  She is funny, kind, talented and a youthful soul.  She never missed a softball game, a concert, a field hockey game, a recital, a swim meet, a pageant or the opportunity to buy me sparkly clothing. She is not afraid of a cuss word.  She attracts wandering souls who need a soft place to land.  She is a healer.  She reminds me to wear lipstick.  She travels often to enliven her spirit and brings joy to all she meets.  I got lucky.

I know some people weren’t lucky.  I know some people had tough moms.   Not everyone can walk down the HEB aisle and pick out the flowery card that says, “Mom, You were always there for me.   Our lives are blessed because of your sacrifice and dedication to our family”.    They walk down aisle 7 and cannot find the appropriate card to fit their particular situation.  ie:  The Maybe Just Flat Bad & Questionable Mom section.  Featuring winners like:   “Thanks for all of the criticism” or “You always took care of yourself. First” or “You never met a drink you didn’t like” or  ‘You always had a lot of boyfriends”   Those cards unfortunately might be big sellers.

BUT KNOW THIS:    WE love and adore you and surround you with deeply caring and accepting arms.    We celebrate the fact that you are here and you made it.  You raised yourself and/or you were blessed with alternative moms that helped raise you, be them Stepmoms, your friend’s mom, your grandmother, your auntie, your dad,  your church, your community, your dojo, your hairstylist, the two daddies  down the street, that awesome teacher.   You were lead to the right place and we are forever grateful.

I got bold on ya there.  Well, I mean it.  YOU didn’t choose your mom… but God chose you to be here now.

Thanks for being the light you always knew you could be.

Love,

An Alternative Mom in your life

 

 

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May 13, 2018   5:42 pm

Fixin’ to get ready to walk and pick up stuff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walk

I walk a lot.  I love to walk.  Yes, it is great for my physical health.  I walk, so I can drink wine without too much guilt.   Some dark chocolate = 10 more minutes.  Fries?  Another mile.   Burger & a shake?   Another 3 miles.   Big Mac?  Well…I haven’t had a Big Mac in 20 years.   That would be a marathon.  Not worth it.  Rather have wine.   It’s not a perfect science, but I can enjoy life a little more knowing I am doing my best to balance the crazy.   Food and diets and exercise can make us crazy.   Got a big occasion coming up?   That equals no bread, no wine, no chocolate for 2 weeks.   And an extra mile a day.   Oh Lord.. the Whole 30 plan calls for zero dairy & sugar (along with a myriad of other evils) for 30 days.   My coffee needs raw sugar and 1/2 & 1/2.   Needs it.  Like a bee needs pollen.  If I give up drinking coffee with the vices, I am NOT happy.  Because that means that I have to have coffee with fake stuff to try and make it look like and for the love of all things creamy, taste like it’s the real deal.  Mama don’t do fake.   I resent coconut milk 1/2 & 1/2.  I can taste stevia for a week if it is accidentally added to my coffee.  (Starbucks 4.22.18)  (but whatev)   Yes, I want all of the compliments…and the satisfaction of wearing an outfit that I might not have to delete all of the Facebook pictures of the minute I get home, but to give up coffee with beloved cream and sugar?  Well, life is too short for that shit.   The Whole 30 plan is a kickstart to finding out what you need and don’t need in your diet.   Your body will feel great after eliminating certain foods.  That I can agree.    I can tell you right now… giving up pasta…no big deal…bread…beans…hell, no prob….cheese… my Wisconsin relatives will disapprove, but fine I can do it… alcohol, I guess I can do that for the cause too, sssssugar…well, ok, maybe for awhile … 1/2 & 1/2…. I shall kill thee.

 

Walking for health has taken on a lot of different meanings to me these days.  It is my therapy.  It is my prayer time.  It is my creative time.  I talk to God, pick up trash along the way and look pretty ridiculous.  I know the driving people talk about me.  This little city has gotten so very busy in the last 5+ years, that the streets are always packed with cars.   I have kind of a routine and see some of the same vehicles on my route.  I know they wait for me to see if I am taking out loud or singing out loud or stuffing my pockets with candy wrappers that the kids drop on their way home from school.  I am that lady.  I have the same 3 outfits that I wear (no, not at the same time), so there is no mistaking me.  I have the same exercise bra from 1998 (the drivers don’t know that, but I thought I would share it with you) that I love and I know it’s too stretched out to do any good.  But I can breathe in it.  It doesn’t make me gasp for air each time I squeeze it on.  Ok. I have 2.  A pink stretched out one and an orange super stretched out one.  Bra shopping sucks.  Especially sport bra shopping.  How can you really tell if it is going to hold the girls well in the Dick’s Sporting goods dressing room.  Do I blissfully open the door and speed walk though the Carrie Underwood area?   Her tiny bralettes (evil invention) wouldn’t even hold two strawberries, lest 2 small cantaloupes.   Good singer, bad bra.  For me at 50+, that is.   I am sure it’s awesome for middle schoolers.

 

So walking.  For the first 15 minutes I cuss a lot.  I let my frustrations fly.   Then for the next 15 minutes I apologize to God for my language and my lack of gratitude.  Then I ask for blessings for my family & friends and lean heavy on my direction.  Hea-vy.   I know where I am going on my walk, but on my “Walk”, I do not have any idea.  So I humbly ask for guidance.  By the time I get back home, I have enough serotonin in my system to love the world.  I love everyone.  I love me.   I think I am so totally awesome and I am full of all kinds of hope and creative energy.   Things creep in in-between the walks and again, I am ready for a purge.  I dislike that word, purge… it is an onomatopoeia of sorts, I think, but yes, I need a negativity purge.  (ew)

So I find time to walk.  If I skip a day because we are traveling or I simply just didn’t make time, I can feel it.  I am not as understanding and as calm.    It can become mostly cloudy in my head those days with a good chance of thunderstorms, without my walk and meditation.  We do not want tornadic supercell activity brewing.   The swirling green vortex that looms is not fun in my head.   So I walk and the weather clears up and it’s sunny for another day.  Good medicine, these legs.

 

I have this big goal.  I want to walk the The Camino de Santiago (The Way of St. James).  I have had walked marathons and 1/2 marathons.   Those were lofty goals and I am proud of my physical accomplishments.   “The Way” is a pilgrimage for the soul.   The trails start in France and end at The St. James Cathedral in Spain.  There are abbreviated versions of the hike, so one can choose many options for their spiritual adventure.   I am not sure when or how long my walk will be, but I know it’s calling me.   Not sure what I will find or discover about myself.  Maybe I’ll discover that I could have walked the Cedar Park Trail and felt the same at the end of my destination, but I am willing to train, buy the ticket, plan the trip and see.  Maybe I’ll discover that cream and sugar are indeed the answers to a happy life and I had the answer all inside me all along.    I do not feel lost, but I am willing to go and be found.

 

Let’s take a walk together.  No, you do not have to join me on the Camino.  Just a walk around your block would be wonderful.   You can vent all you like and I will listen.  Or we can just laugh our way down the street.  Maybe you will feel lighter in spirit.    I walk kind of fast, so you might burn an extra calorie or two…and then you we can have a donut.   That might be the ultimate pay-off!

 

Saturday, May 12  11:35 pm

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Coffee with my beloved sugar in the raw and 1/2 & 1/2.   My “Spirit is Ageless” Journal, handmade by Marti Perkins.